Life In The Luminal: The Impact of Regret
Merriam-Webster defines “regret” as “sorrow aroused by circumstances beyond one’s control or power to repair”. One can learn many things from regret. But the lesson that is learned does not come easy and can have lifelong impacts.
Author Daniel H. Pink is the author of the 2022 bestseller “The Power Of Regret”, where he examines the impact of how the past affects the progress of the present. In an interview with Behavioral Scientist, Pink says, “when I looked back, I realized that there were some things that I regretted doing and others I regretted not doing. The curious thing about it is that when I very sheepishly began talking about some of these regrets to people in private conversation, I got a surprising response—people were really interested in engaging; they wanted to share. It’s almost like this dam burst.”
Pink pinpointed that regret is an emotion that is triggered with one’s present is at the crossroads of past and future. When one remembers an occurrence and moments of reflection and wonder emerge. “An emotion that’s triggered when we think of something from our past” Pink continues, “and wish we had done something differently, done something in a different way, not done something, taken an action, not taken an action.” As the old saying goes, hindsight is usually 20/20. Often with much time comes much self-exploration and evaluation of one’s handling of past situations. But sometimes along with that self-evaluation can sometimes create self criticism. Self criticism that can have rippling impacts on one’s future.
Writer J.Kim Penberthy, in their 2022 article for the University of Virginia news section, writes, “research suggests that action-related regrets, although painful, spur people to learn from their mistakes and move on. But regret related to the inaction path – the things undone, the opportunities lost – is harder to fix. This kind of regret is more likely to lead to depression, anxiety, a sense of “stuckness” and a feeling of longing over not knowing what could have been.”
Sometimes when regret is on the horizon, an awakening occurs. It could be the arrival of inspiration or it could be the arrival of anticipation. Whichever the arrival, one has a pathway presented to them: channel this feeling into action and create something new or prepare to live a life in the luminal.
Regardless of the choice, regret does have an impact but fortunately, the impact is not permanent.
