Obama Says He Owes Michelle After White House Years
Barack Obama says he’s been trying to make up for lost time with Michelle Obama after their eight-year run in the White House. Speaking with Hamilton College President Steve Tepper, the former president admitted he realized back in January 2017 that he was in a “deep deficit” with his wife of more than 30 years.
“I have been trying to dig myself out of that hole by doing occasionally fun things,” Obama said.
The comment comes amid renewed public interest in the Obamas’ relationship, especially after Michelle’s noticeable absence from several public events with her husband earlier this year. Barack and Michelle, who married in 1992 and share two daughters, Malia (26) and Sasha (23), have never shied away from being honest about the struggles in their relationship.
Michelle Once Said There Were “10 Years I Couldn’t Stand My Husband”
Michelle Obama has spoken openly about the difficult seasons of their marriage. In a 2022 interview, she said plainly, “There were 10 years where I couldn’t stand my husband,” referring to the earlier years of raising their children.
Barack, when asked about that comment during a CBS Mornings interview in 2023, didn’t flinch. “Let me just say this: it sure helps to be out of the White House. And to have a little more time with her.” He added that while his focus had always been on his daughters, he didn’t fully understand the pressure Michelle was under—being both a mother and the First Lady, raising a family under a microscope in a world that was anything but normal.
“I did not fully appreciate… the degree of stress and tension for her,” Obama said. “Not just because of me and her being under scrutiny, but raising our daughters in that situation.
Michelle Reflects on Choosing Support Over Status
On a recent episode of her podcast IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson, Michelle shared more about the foundation of their relationship. When she first met Barack, he didn’t have money—but he had vision, encouragement, and a willingness to ride through the hard parts with her.
“I left my corporate firm when I met Barack,” she said. “I had somebody who was like, ‘I got your back. The risks you think you’re taking, they aren’t that crazy, and I’m here to help you.’”
She made it clear that the decision wasn’t about finances or status. “I would rather have that in a partner than a higher income. I would rather have somebody who is ready to do some hard things with me. But that meant I had to be ready to do some hard things with him.”
Why This Resonates Deeply in the Black Community
The Obamas have long been held up as a symbol of Black love and partnership—something real, aspirational, and deeply meaningful in a world where such representations are still far too rare. Their honesty about the ups and downs are appreciated and only adds to the weight of their story. Seeing two people who have been through it all—young kids, public pressure, power, and pain—and still choose to fight for each other matters.
In a community that often looks to them not just for political leadership but for emotional guidance, these admissions hit home. Love isn’t always easy, even when it’s powerful. But the Obamas have never pretended it was. That transparency, that willingness to be vulnerable, is exactly why their story and love will always be in light.
