Why Peace Starts With Leaving Some Things Alone
Somewhere along the way, we stopped minding our own business.
I don’t know exactly when it happened, but I know it happened. Maybe it was social media. Maybe it was reality television. Maybe people just got bored. Whatever the reason, everybody suddenly became the mayor, police chief, financial advisor and life coach for complete strangers.
Folks will spend three hours arguing about how somebody else should live while their own garage won’t fit a lawn mower.
Everybody’s an Expert
You see it everywhere now. A stranger orders something unusual at a restaurant and somebody at the next table has an opinion. Someone buys a new car and suddenly everybody becomes an accountant. A neighbor paints their house a color they don’t like and folks act like a crime has been committed.
Then there is social media, where complete strangers somehow know exactly how everyone else should raise children, spend money, vote, worship, retire and live. People who have never met each other will argue for hours over situations that have absolutely nothing to do with them.
The funny part is that most of us already have enough going on in our own lives to keep us busy. There are lawns to mow, bills to pay, relationships to maintain and goals we’re still trying to reach. Yet somehow we find time to become deeply invested in decisions made by people we’ll never meet.
We’ve become a society that mistakes having access to an opinion for having a responsibility to share it. Every topic becomes a debate. Every disagreement becomes a battle. Every conversation turns into a contest where someone has to win.
Sometimes I wonder how much happier we’d all be if we spent half as much time improving our own lives as we spend analyzing everyone else’s.
Caring vs. Controlling
Don’t get me wrong. There are times when speaking up matters. Communities need people who care. Friends should look out for friends. Neighbors should help neighbors. That’s part of what makes a community strong.
But there is a difference between caring and controlling. Somewhere along the way, those lines started getting blurry.
Sometimes the healthiest thing a person can do is shrug their shoulders and keep walking. Not every disagreement needs a debate. Not every opinion needs an audience. Not every situation requires a public statement.
There is a certain freedom that comes with realizing you do not have to react to everything. You do not have to win every argument. You do not have to correct every stranger. You do not have to carry the weight of every decision made by every person around you.
A lot of stress comes from trying to manage things that were never ours to manage in the first place.
The Value of Peace
The older I get, the more I appreciate people who can simply say, “That’s not how I would do it, but it isn’t my business.”
There was a time when people understood a simple rule: If it isn’t hurting you, your family or your community, maybe it doesn’t require your opinion. It is not apathy, it’s peace.
These days, peace might be the most underrated thing we have left.
Marcus “MJ” Johnson is an Observer opinion columnist who writes about culture, sports, neighborhoods and everyday life. Through his column, Just My Take, Marcus offers thoughtful observations on the issues, trends and everyday moments that shape our communities. The opinions expressed are his own.
